Is motherhood a sacrifice or a privilege?


By Wangeshi Wambua

Is motherhood a sacrifice or a privilege? Is it selfless or selfish? Many may say that I am writing from a place of privilege therefore project that privilege to what I know for sure. What can I say about my journey of motherhood?

Through the years I have lived on this earth, I have learnt to embrace life with courage. Walking into motherhood was one of my bucket lists but I gamboled onto it with uncertainty at a time I thought I was not ready. At this juncture I can write with authority that motherhood is the most rewarding and gratifying 24 hour job.

Allow me to walk you into my world.

Allow me to walk you into my world. She is a jolly, outspoken and self confident 11 year old. She has the greatest imagination and a good story teller a lover of creative arts. I love how she loves her baby sister and is very caring towards her. She loves dancing and her expressions are priceless. She awarded me the tag of a mother.

Not a while later came along a lovable and chubby inquisitive keen to detail 9 year old girl. She loves art and crafts and can spend hours on end drawing, tracing, coloring and cutting out magazine pictures. I love her eagerness to help me in house chores around the house. She says the funniest cheekiest things that make us laugh,

Am excited to write about the baby. She has a bubbly cheeky personality shinning though. She is a social butterfly, I love her heartwarming inviting smile. She is playful and loves outdoors. I love her enthusiasm for life. And this one is my copy.

I love to see the relationship between our girls. As a mother of three, I manage to discharge my responsibilities effortlessly and balance my career, my business and my family. Motherhood is a journey within the purview of joy, resilience, gratitude, possibility, awe, clarity the list is endless. All these virtues are a guide to becoming the best self you can be as an individual. The call to be mothers is universal and deep; the experience forces change and growth in ways few other experiences do.

“My mission in life is not to merely survive, but to thrive and to do so with passion, some humor, and some style,” Maya Angelou

The subject of motherhood is a tender one that evokes some of our greatest joys and agonies.  These afflictions vary in description and context. Some experience agony because of their children: others don’t have children yet others live with the irksome feeling that they should have done better with their children. Every mother is more than a mom and is different from other mothers. There is no one right way to be a mother.  There is diversity in motherhood.

My journey of motherhood has been shaped by: Getting and staying organized by planning and staying focused, scheduling a mummy day and taking care of myself

Getting and staying organized by planning and staying focused. I have learnt to organize everything in my house (by this I am talking about the kitchen to the babies’ room) and at my work place so that it is easy to reach anything I am looking for. I wrote about this in the Self Compassion post. I literally have a plan for everything. This is made easy by Apps I have downloaded in my smart phone. I have consciously set aside 30 minutes every evening to check through my day’s activities to go through my children’s homework and signing them and to note what I did not manage to do.  I avoid procrastination and this has contributed to remaining focused day in day out.

Schedule a mummy day. I have made intentional plans for most Saturday or Sunday afternoons as the time to spend with my little girls either swimming, chatting, shopping in the mall, trying out a recipe, spa date, playing junior monopoly or our newest, going for evening beach walks. This has enhanced the relationship with my daughters.

I can’t emphasis more on Self Compassion. I have learnt to spare some little time and money to appreciate myself. I used to get lost in the tasks for the children, the house and my husband and never for me. I learnt that “We are each responsible for our own life. If you’re holding anyone else accountable for your happiness, you are wasting your time. You must be fearless enough to give yourself love. “TV Talk show host Oprah Winfrey

I am confident to write that it is possible to be a mother, a woman and an achiever.  A woman who balances her job and her family enjoys the stimulation that a career provides. She feels good about herself and takes better care of herself. Along with motherhood, a successful career adds to the completeness of being a woman.

 “Motherhood is the greatest thing and the hardest thing” Ricki Lake 


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