By Jeddy Gibbs Ohanga
How we met
Many years back I had a girlfriend called Corrine. We were very close confidants and our friendship was beyond human comprehension. I loved her like my own sister, and I thought the world about her as she had come into my life when I was at my lowest moment.
I had been through a serious heartbreak and one day I had taken myself to a club to drown my sorrows and forget the man who had broken my heart.
How could a man just disappear into thin air after telling you that your love was not meant to be, and that he could not marry you because you were from a different community, and that his community hated yours?
To make it worse he was the one whom I had given the privilege of breaking my virginity.
I wished he could die for leaving me, just because he wanted a woman from his community. I was hurt, pissed, mad and confused. This was the first man I ever loved genuinely and whole heartedly. I gave him my all. He controlled my heartbeats, my lungs and every part of my body responded to him.
Whenever I saw him, I felt so happy, all my problems disappeared, even If I had only 10 bob between me and poverty, I felt like a millionaire when with him. There at times I use to think he is my Oxygen supplier, until shit hit the fan.
He had thoroughly loved me back, and could call me twice or thrice in a day just to check if I was still alive. He visited me almost every evening, and when he could not, we would chat sometimes until 3 am.
They didn’t know what I was going through
Jason was the perfect man for me and my future, but he listened to his parents who suddenly put him on a plane to the USA and gave him a girl to marry because I wasn’t the one.
Back to Corrine; I was in a night club seated alone with a whole 750ml of Viceroy a whole pack of Embassy trying to drown his memories and burn his betrayal. Everyone in the pub was eyeing me as if I was an alien but I did not care
It was my life my drink and my wallet. They didn’t know what I was going through. To them I was just some desperate girl in a club looking for a man; they didn’t know that a man was the last thing I needed at that time.
I looked at all of them and they all seemed to look like mango trees with rotten fruits hanging loose. One man came and sat right opposite me and the look I gave give sent him away. Every table I looked at, the occupants were looking at me with those ones of “Is she going to drink all that alone?’’ But I didn’t give a hoot; I needed to wipe out my pain, my sorrow and my Jason away.
Heartbreak is the worst nightmare of all, at least toothache you can go to the dentist and have it drilled out, or you can use pliers and pluck it out, but heartbreak, you will wish to die and go to wherever the dead go to.
It hurts most when you gave the relationship your all, you invested in that love like it was oozing cash like and ATM. It hurts more when you know that he is somewhere loving another woman, not an antelope or a cheetah……another woman just like you.
As crazy thoughts of Jason crossed my already drunk mind, I started to sob softly. I missed him terribly, I wanted to close my eyes and land on his laps, look him in the eyes and ask him why he left me on top of a coconut tree? At least he could have helped me down before taking off…..
Are you hitting on me? I don’t do women
I looked up to get a handkerchief from my bag, and there she was……seated right opposite me with such kind and sentimental look. I almost spat at her, but something told me to hold my guts and chill. I was there to cry not spit on strangers.
“Hello, I am Corrine. I saw you come in and been watching you ever since. I want to help you.”
“Are you hitting on me? I don’t do women…..and right now I don’t need anybody’s help. I need to be alone until the end. You are not Jesus, you can’t help me. What I am going through is personal and it will remain that way until I heal, take a hike and go back to your seat girl” I said arrogantly.
“Are you always this rude to strangers? You are too cute girl, come on you need company and right now I am alone too. I am a good person and I won’t push you” Corrine said and held my hand.
Her hands were soft, just like Jason’s. I removed my handkerchief and wiped my tears, took my glass and sipped my sweet alcohol while giving her a mean look. I didn’t care who she was. I didn’t need her. I needed Jason, my Jason!
“Corrine or whoever you are, I don’t think you know what I am going through, I don’t think you have an idea of how it feels to be loved for a number of years and then be left suddenly with no concrete explanation like the love never existed. No! You don’t know how hurting that is. It is tearing me apart, every part of my body is in pain, I am a wreck, it’s like a lorry ran over me, reversed back to crash me further and then the driver laughed as he drove off, girl you totally have no idea, Now, can you go back and enjoy your drink please” I replied her as more tears found its way out of my eyes. Alcohol can make you Emminen I swear. I didn’t even realize that I was already telling her my issues.
“Okay…….what did you say your name is again?” she asked.
I needed relief for my pain
“I didn’t tell you my name, and it is not necessary that you know me, now go before this bottle lands on your head” I said that a bit louder and I saw the scary look on her face. She pushed back her seat and left. I felt so bad for being mean to her, but I wasn’t myself. I needed someone to rip off my heart and keep it in a freezer to cool off.
I needed relief for my pain. I needed to sleep from January to December and I wanted to disappear too from the surface of earth and maybe land in Pluto. As I continued to drink, no one bothered me. I kept looking at Corrine hoping that she’d come back and just talk to me, help me out, cool my pain, soothe me, tell me it’s gonna be alright, but I had already chased her away. She wasn’t coming back and I didn’t care anyhow. She wasn’t angel Gabriel after all.
Two hours later, I was still drinking but only small sips. The alcohol was now bitter than before. Coke wasn’t doing its job of diluting it any more. I didn’t want to chew a black out either. I ordered for chips and chicken.
Suddenly I needed to use the bathroom. When I stood up, the club started to spin. The roof had become the floor and I saw people hanging up on their seats. I laughed loudly and fell down. My short dress climbed up so fast I remained down there half naked, my white pant glowing like a torch. When I opened my eyes, Corrine was there lifting me up.
She held on to me while pushing the hyenas away from me. She pulled down my dress and I heard her say “It’s going to be well my friend, just hang in there”. It wasn’t going to be well, a man left me high and dry, like I was not important, and like I meant nothing to him in the five years we dated and made love like rowdy rats.
Tell me where you stay, you need to go and rest
Corrine seemed to be a nice girl, I allowed her to lift me up. She asked me where I lived and I told her nearby…….”Where is nearby? Can you walk there?” she asked.
“No, but I can run” I said and laughed at my own stupid joke
“I can drive you home if you will direct me. She offered”
“Waaauh, you have a car or you are a taxi driver?” I asked sarcastically.
“Tell me where you stay, you need to go and rest. All those questions I will answer once you are somewhere safe, come on let’s go” She said and took my items from the table. She led the way out of the club still holding my hands.
Look out for Part TWO