TALKING TO LITTLE COUSIN ABOUT SEX
2. Sex is when you make contact with a person in a bookshop or library and smile bashfully at that stranger

TALKING TO LITTLE COUSIN ABOUT SEX

By Beverly Masita

Hi, it’s me. Just like most people, dear ‘Rona found me at the confines of home. You know- where your mother threatens to behead you because you don’t remember her email password? (Like she even told you which one it was this time), and where my creativity runs at almost 20% on some days. On the good days, the creativity runs its course as I complete a pile of dishes. Sigh!

Like most budding writers, I was looking forward to being on my seventy-thousand word journey of becoming a Maya Angelou protégé (really? How do I become a protégé without the mentor?) Or another Morrison (we do have the same taste in hair; it would be uncultured not to romanticize this).

Throwing into multiple projects has not been easy. I can’t say I have made it in all of them, but some have been productive. Some? Oh well, they will live to see another type of light. My friend and I went and created a website to share stories from other writers, and of course mine too. You can read about them here. Dive into it, will you?

As an avid reader, there is nothing that beats words weaved together so magically and carefully as those written by our favorite authors. So of course I recommend a lot of reading for the improvement of jargon for those who usually have nothing to say during debates except for eeehh, mwambieee, or hapo sawa.  Put together your own ideas for the love of God! I like a well thought out book, something that makes my heart flutter and makes my eyes stick to the pages. You feel me?

With this stay at home virus, I have had to have ‘The Talk’ with a younger cousin. Why? Because for some reason, my aunt thinks I am mature enough to have this type of conversation with a little cousin, I have seen things, and because of the fact that, as she so acutely put it, very Woke! This word is so 2018, but welcome to cousin hood, people.

Back to The Talk; it can get awkward right? I mean, how do you start talking to your little cousin about sex? So I tried, just without too much exploration. I also told her to read romance novels.  If she is going to learn sex Ed, then who better than a romance writer as an instructor? At least she will have high expectations.

This is how you talk to your little ones about sex:

  1. Sex is when you walk into the ice cream shop down town, and order your favourite Biscotti-flavoured ice cream and close your eyes in front of a whole lot of strangers as a throaty sound comes out of you. Tastes awesome, right?
  2. Sex is when you make contact with a person in a bookshop or library and smile bashfully at that stranger.
  3.  Sex is when you finally get to buy that book that has been on your wish list for months.
  4. Sex, if you are like me, is having hot flavoured tea and reading a good book, or listening to slow music.
  5. Sex is when you finally bag that A in your class (this suited her life more, right?).

See, I had to put the point across in a manner that spelled “satisfaction”. Isn’t it what sex is about sometimes?  Well there you have it folks, my failed attempt to explain to a teenager what sex is. I must have confused her.

You see where my reluctance about writing sex scenes comes from now? That’s right, it stems from places of shame and cultural expectations. So when you tell me to talk to a kid about sex, when most probably the only sexual thing me and my mother have talked about is ‘don’t get pregnant,’ and, ‘what does a tampon feel like when its inside you?’ that is just hard, on so many levels.

 

 

Leave a Reply